Letters and Prayers
by flying-cars
Summary: "You still look beautiful," James said easily. Lily laughed. "And you're still the most attractive player on the team." "And you both still have the strangest dynamics I've ever seen," Sirius cried. "Everyone saw that snog, by the way, and wow, almost felt like I was intruding!"
1. Chapter 1

_Lily Evans,_

_I can't help but notice that this year, your hair is considerably longer than it was last year. This strikes me as odd and confusing, since my hair remains at the perfect length it has always been. Care to share your hair growing tips with me?_

_At any rate, Remus says I shouldn't begin a letter like that, but what would he know? I never see him writing letters, only boring essays and notes. It's no wonder you and Remus are friends._

_Though Remus is such a lovely topic of conversation, he is not the topic of this letter (regretfully, I know). _

_Lily, I feel I must inform you that although I am not in any way religious, I have learned to pray for you. Your happiness, your smile, your laughter; they're all things I find incredibly desirable, and I would be shattered if they disappeared._

_As it is, they always seem to disappear whenever you come within my vicinity. _

_Hence, I pray for the day you can look in my direction and smile, remain happy, and maybe even laugh at one of my jokes._

_Ever hopeful,  
James (Or as you so fondly call me, Potter)._

* * *

Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor table when she received this letter. James' owl – a rather large one with amber eyes – was pecking at her fingers insistently.

"What, do you expect me to reply _now_?" Lily demanded. The owl kept pecking her fingers, which Lily took to mean as a no. "I've already fed you, you greedy mutt."  
"Now now, Lily flower, you mustn't insult grand creatures such as this one," Sirius Black said as he sat gracefully beside her. He pushed the owl over another bite of sausage from Lily's plate, ignoring her sounds of protest.  
"You have to feed him twice," Sirius said.  
"Spoilt brat," Lily muttered, but stored the knowledge away for later. James was sending her letters at least once a week now.

She stored them under her bed in a nondescript shoebox, hiding them from her friends. There were currently three, and Lily hadn't replied to a single one, which she was sure Sirius knew. But, since he was here, he could listen to her rant.

"This is the fourth letter I've received from him," Lily began, waving the letter under Sirius' nose. "Is he expecting a reply from me? Does he realise I don't have the _time _to reply?"  
Sirius smirked. "I think he's more bored than anything else, to be honest. And yes, he's aware you don't have the time, but here you are having a whinge about them to me when you could be writing a very lovely reply back."  
"I could be, but I won't," Lily grumbled. "He'll send me another one next week, I'm sure."  
"Why, Lily! You sound almost pleased!"  
Lily nudged Sirius' shoulder as hard as she could. "I do not."  
Sirius threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, Lily. Don't ever change."

Standing up to leave for class, Sirius gave an ominous warning about staying inside that night, promised to send Remus her love, and swore he wouldn't tell James anything.

Not that there was anything to tell, of course.

Understandably, Lily spent the rest of the day drafting a reply to James in her head. If Sirius was checking in on her, James must be getting fidgety. A short letter in return surely couldn't hurt?

That night was the full moon and Lily took advantage of the Marauder-less common room. She took out one of her muggle pens and paper and rested them on the table. This way, if anybody asked, she could say she was writing to Petunia without arousing suspicion. Everyone in Gryffindor knew of Petunia's problem.

_James, _Lily began. She crossed it out.

_Potter, _

_Don't let this go to your head, but yes, this is me replying to one of your letters. Surprise!_

_As I'm sure you're well aware, I do not have any secret growing techniques for my hair. I'm a girl; it just grows. I didn't cut it. You can see where I'm going with this, I'm sure._

_For the record, I happen to find Remus a lovely topic of conversation, as he is a perfectly wonderful person. I can't help but notice you comment on our friendship in a negative light; are you jealous of our connection over essays and notes?_

_Please, don't feel the need to answer that._

_Now, to the point of my reply: I do wish you wouldn't waste your pure prayers on me. Every Atheist knows that they only pray when it's for selfish needs. Are you selfish, James? I know what my answer is._

_But, since I am a Holy person of truth, I feel I must inform you that I myself am selfish, because I find myself praying that one day you won't feel the need to impress me with your jokes and pranks. My friends would say that underneath that layer of personality, you are quite a nice person; I am yet to take that leap, as you very well know._

_In the muggle world, prayers are usually seen in a revered light. I suppose that you and I are quite petty for praying about little things._

_Shall I expect a reply next week, as per usual, or will you be too excited to wait that long? _

_Lily._

_P.S: I know what you're going to do. I'm interested to see if you'll follow through with my hypothesis._

A little disappointed in herself for making it so long, she denied that she thought it was easy to write to James, and sealed the letter in a typical wizarding envelope. It was too late to go up to the Owlery so she would wait until morning to send it.

Then, James would have to wait another four weeks to receive her letter. She would not risk writing it with him anywhere near her, so she would wait for the next full moon.


	2. Chapter 2

James' reply came a week after she sent her letter.

_Lily,_

_I find myself quite enjoying the smoothness of this muggle paper. I took the liberty to jump to the conclusion that you also used a muggle pen, which I have to admit is cleaner and less messy than a quill. I'm considering making the switch, myself._

_I am ashamed to admit that I spent quite a long while – a whole thirty minutes, to be exact – trying to figure out what a 'hypothesis' was, and upon figuring that out, another ten minutes trying to work out what yours would be. I have come to the conclusion that you thought I would be far too overjoyed that you replied to my letters, and therefore would reply straight away._

_Well, surprise! I used every ounce of my self-control and waited an entire week to reply! _

_I suppose your prayer has been answered – I'm not trying to impress you with my jokes and pranks, just with my self-control. Are you impressed, Lily? I'm desperate to know._

_I don't mind that you're selfish, Lily. Everyone is selfish, myself especially. I am so selfish, I do in fact find myself jealous over your and Remus' friendship. I am curious as to how you can so easily communicate with Sirius, and offer your help and guidance to Peter, when you can barely look me in the eye._

_I've come to the conclusion that the sunlight reflects off of my glasses and hurts your eyes. Peter has just informed me that you ignore me in the castle, where the sun doesn't shine, as well. Peter has quite a knack of pointing out my flaws. I suppose I'll have to disregard my theory._

_Please tell me what it is about me that makes me so hard to look at. Is it my stunning beauty? Is it because I'm so tall you have to crane your neck? This is my prayer for this week. _

_Thoroughly disappointed that you don't have any secret hair tips for me,  
James (Potter)._

Lily was almost laughing as she read the letter on the way to Potions. Before ducking into the classroom, she folded the letter carefully and placed it at the bottom of her bag, where it couldn't be seen.

Ignoring the sense of dread she always got before this class, Lily held her head up high and moved through the doors, heading straight for her usual table to set up her cauldron. She didn't look Severus' way at all. Not even a glance.

Today they were brewing a Confusing Concoction, as Slughorn was curious to see if the aromas of the potion affected the brewer as well as the liquid itself. So far, he was unimpressed.

"Perhaps I shouldn't have had that glass of oak-matured mead before brewing," he chuckled as he walked around the classroom, sticking his nose into students' cauldrons dangerously. He paused at Lily's, giving a satisfied grunt.

"Ah, Lily, what I wouldn't do to have you in my house."  
Lily sent him her most charming grin. "I think we both know I'd be too cheerful for the place, Professor. It'd be a Christmas theme all year with me around!" She tugged on her red hair, inwardly wincing at the red and green theme; Slytherin would never suit her.  
"Oho, I suppose so, m'dear."

He moved on to stick his nose in Severus' cauldron, awarding five points to Slytherin for his efforts. Severus definitely didn't look in Lily's direction, and he definitely did not have a satisfied smirk on his face. Lily didn't know this because she wasn't looking in his direction. Absolutely not.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sweet Pea,_

_Have I done something I am yet unaware of that has upset you? I had hoped that, after our previously successful correspondence, we could keep this up! Pen pals, Remus would say. Care to enlighten me on my previous naughty actions?_

_Since you haven't asked, I have been doing wonderfully. And, since you so carefully avoid looking me in the eye, I assume you don't already know that I have grown another millimetre. Sirius says it's just my hair, but I beg to differ. _

_Lily flower, I lay awake at night wondering what you pray for. You are yet to tell me, just as you are yet to reply to my previous letter._

_Please don't keep me waiting. I am so eager to commence this writing thing we have going on. _

_(Impatient) James._

* * *

_Lily Evans._

_I cannot express the depth of my disappointment when you, once again, did not return my letter. _

_Are you avoiding me in the common room, now? I did invite you to that quidditch party just two days ago, but you failed to show. I was so disappointed, but I had a lovely time. As beautiful and enrapturing as you are, Lily, I simply cannot put the rest of my life on hold for you._

_That sounded rather harsh, so you'll have to forgive me for speaking the truth so brashly. But then, you have never been one for sugar-coating, either._

_Do you like sweets, Lily? Sugar coated? Chocolate coated? Caramel? If you tell me now, I can put some actual thought into your Valentine's Day gift, and not buy you something corny and ridiculous at the last minute._

_I suppose I should ask, do you want to be my Valentine? I know what your answer is going to be!_

_James (the Seer)_

* * *

_Evans._

_In two nights time it is the full moon. I am, as always, excited at the prospect of a midnight run. One day, we could go together._

_You're clever enough to become animagi, but not rebellious enough. You're kind, but too mean to be able to be called nice. You're apathetic to my situation, but you are still compassionate. You're full of contradictions._

_Said contradictions keep me up at night; it's rather quite tragic. Sirius thinks that I'm a fool, and that love isn't real, but I don't believe him. I may not be religious but I do believe in a bigger force than us. Whether that's a God, or Mother Nature, or karma, or love… well, that's up for debate._

_What are your thoughts, Lily? You always seem ready for a quick-witted fight. Surely you have some opinions?_

_Cleverly ignoring your blatant deny of being my Valentine,  
James._

* * *

As planned, Lily replied on the night of the full moon. After she'd finished her homework, of course.

_Potter,_

_No, I will not be your Valentine.  
No, I do not believe in a higher force than us.  
No, I do not like sweets – I prefer savouries.  
No, I am not avoiding you in the common room.  
No, I do not think you have grown another millimetre.  
No, you haven't done anything to upset me.  
No, I do not pray at night._

_For the record, you did not impress me with your self-control. I knew you would wait a week – it was simply your reasoning behind it I was unsure about, and my train of thought is far too complicated to explain._

_Since you are so self-absorbed in your own life that you haven't asked about mine, I will tell you that my hair has grown yet another two millimetres. No, I do not have any secret hair tips. Just good genetics._

_Christmas is nearly upon us, as I'm sure you don't need reminding. Please don't be extravagant this year._

_A very worried Lily. _


	4. Chapter 4

A large owl with a relatively small package within its claws was heading towards Lily at the breakfast table. The brown paper was torn off quickly as Lily prayed that her extra-curricular Charms reading book had arrived.

Alas, it was a plain black leather bound book. It was accompanied with a letter.

_Lily,_

_This here is a two-way diary. I can write in mine and whatever I write will show up on yours. I thought they would be far more convenient than sending letters… which I am always eagerly awaiting._

_I was sensing a pattern with your replies; is four your favourite number?_ _Is four weeks how long it takes for me to wear down your patience? Imagine all the wonderful conversations we could have had if you replied to every single one of my letters! It would be magic, Lily, truly magic! We could even be friends by now, imagine that!_

_Shakespeare wrote "the course of true love never did run smooth". I can't help but agree with him. So these diaries are an effort to smooth out the rocky road._

_Please, make use of the diary. It chimes whenever someone has written in it… be careful during class! I'd hate for it to be taken off you._

_Love,  
A rather eager James._

Lily pushed the diary into her bag, promising herself she would hide it in the dormitory as soon as she had a chance. For now, she had to get to Transfiguration, the busiest lesson of the day.

* * *

Professor McGonagall had finished talking long ago and the students were busy trying out their spells. Lily herself was concentrating incredibly hard when a chime rang out from her bag. Lily blushed furiously but, as the class was full of noise anyway, nobody appeared to hear it. Quickly taking the blasted thing out of her bag, Lily opened it to the first page.

_Got the diary, then?_

As she watched, more letters appeared which turned into words, then formed a sentence.

_Ah, that chime was such a beautiful sound._

Lily refused to turn around to face the back of the classroom where Lily knew James was sitting with Sirius. She tried to focus on her spellwork but, to her disapproval, more black ink appeared on the page.

_Are you going to ignore me still, Lily? Will it take another four weeks to get you to reply to me, or just four messages?_

Lily could almost hear the challenging tone of his voice. Promising herself that she would only reply once, for one reply couldn't possibly hurt, she quickly scribbled:

_You were only out of the common room once every four weeks for the entire evening. It seemed to be the most appropriate time to think out a reply to your letters._

Swearing that was all she would write, Lily hid the diary underneath her Transfiguration book and began to analyse the wand movements needed for the spell. To her disgust, a nagging feeling settled deep in her stomach. Curiosity was setting in.

Giving in to the temptation, she glanced at the diary once again.

_If you ever need privacy, all you need to do is ask. _

Scoffing, Lily wrote: _I've asked you to leave me alone plenty of times, Potter, but you never listen. Why should I believe you now?_

James' answer was swift.

_Ah, yes, well… that's different. You were asking to be left alone to study, which is boring! Replying to my letters is a totally acceptable thing to do in private._

Rolling her eyes, Lily turned in her seat to give James a stern look. He sent her an easy grin, lounging in his seat.

_Privacy is not an issue anymore, I suppose, now that we have these bloody diaries to communicate with, _Lily wrote sarcastically.

_Hopefully they don't replace human interaction. I do enjoy seeing your face, Lily flower._

With a shake of her head, Lily found the nagging feeling in her stomach had dissipated, and hid the diary underneath her books once more. She didn't look at it again until the end of class when she was packing up her books. A single line was written.

_Tonight. 8 o'clock. Have the diary on you._


	5. Chapter 5

To Lily's utter disgust, she had the diary with her at eight that evening. She couldn't believe what she was doing, but she was incredibly curious as to what James wanted, and Lily wasn't one to deny herself of the simpler pleasures in life.

The diary chimed and Lily opened the diary, getting out her red quill ink to write with. A lovely connection to her hair, she thought. She wondered if it would show up on James' diary.

_I have to admit, Lily, that I am quite pleased with how you've reacted to this diary. I was quite afraid that you'd just use it against me – every day you seem to think of a brand new way to hate me, and as you can imagine, I didn't want to fuel the fire._

Lily almost felt guilty but shook of the feeling. _Perhaps if you didn't want me to hate you, we shouldn't talk, _she suggested. _That's usually what fuels the fire._

James took so long to reply Lily actually closed the diary and rested it on her lap. When it finally did chime, Lily's eyes were sore from staring into the fire of the common room.

_Do you hate me now? _James had asked. Lily took a long time to think about her answer.

_No, _she wrote.

_What a relief! Sirius had bet Remus 3 galleons that you'd say you did._

Lily could almost imagine James' cocky grin and Remus' ashamed smile, his face flushed because he won the bet. She held back a smile of her own.

_Speaking of, where are you troublemakers? It's incredibly quiet here._

_Missing us already, Evans? We're in the room of requirement, sorry, trade secrets. Can't tell you where it is._

_Don't be so cocky, Potter. I know where it is._

Lily wasn't bluffing, either. Once too many times she had evacuated the common room festivities, looking for a quiet area to study. She had stumbled upon the room, which she quickly mastered the controls of, and used it as a quiet getaway herself. She had even demanded the room give her books to extend her knowledge of the room, including its history, exceptions, uses and more.

_Come find us, then, _James challenged.

_I couldn't possibly with curfew so close, _Lily argued. _I'd get detention!_

Lily could definitely imagine James' laughter this time. _Aren't you a Gryffindor, Evans? Be _brave. _Curfew isn't for another half hour at least, and Filch is firmly tucked away in the dungeons cleaning up stinksap._

_I don't want to know any more, _Lily wrote. She took a moment to remind herself that she was not doing this to impress anyone (particularly not James Potter), but was doing it to be spontaneous and to have some fun. _Fine. I'll show you how good I am, Potter. See you soon._

_Doubt it._

Determined now to prove herself, Lily tucked the diary up in the dormitories underneath her pillow, donned her cloak, and quickly set off to the room of requirement. She descended from Gryffindor tower in minutes and reached the seventh floor in an even shorter time.

Lily paced in front of the blank stretch of wall three times, thinking _override controls and reveal the marauders… override controls and reveal the marauders… override controls and reveal the marauders…_

A slight squeak of metal made Lily open her eyes. The doors to the room had appeared for her. Pleased at her success, Lily pushed open the doors and kept the satisfied smirk off her face.

"Lily!" Remus greeted, leaning against a tree trunk that didn't have any branches or leafs further up like a normal tree did.  
"I see you made it inside," James added, who was lying on his stomach with the diary in front of him.  
"I told you I could," Lily replied, closing the doors behind her. "Judging by the looks on everybody's faces, I'd say you didn't tell them you'd invited me," Lily added, walking up beside Remus.  
Sirius chuckled. "Oh, no, he did tell us you were coming," he said, "We just didn't think you'd make it inside."

Lily shrugged and fell back, asking the room to provide a beanbag for a soft landing. A bright purple one appeared at the perfect time, making a soft squishy noise as she settled herself comfortably in it.  
"So… what's going on?" Lily asked as casually as she could manage. Never before had she been in a room alone with the marauders being so quiet.  
"We were planning to study," Peter offered in a small voice, "But Prongs was too –"  
"Prongs was too excitable over writing to you to focus," Sirius drawled, observing his nails. Lily ignored his pretentious attitude.  
"You guys study? I mean, Remus I can believe, and even Peter is pushing the line, but _you _two?" Lily teased. "It's unbelievable."  
"So is you actually getting into this room, but here you are," James pointed out, "And here we are, with books and everything!"

To Lily's surprise, they did indeed have DADA and Herbology books in front of them.

"How did you get in, anyway?" Sirius asked curiously. "We thought we covered every loophole."  
Lily laughed, letting her hair loose from her high ponytail. "You mean you don't know?"  
"Know what?" Remus asked.  
Lily shook her head. "Well, if you don't know, then I can't tell you," she replied cheekily. Fluffing her hair around her shoulders, she sighed deeply. "Well, if you guys are having a study session, then I may as well join in," she said to nobody in particular, asking to room to supply her with an exact replica of her Charms textbook. It materialised beside her left foot. She opened it up to chapter six before she realised eyes were on her.

"We carried our textbooks up here ourselves," Remus said slowly, "and you're telling me you can just make it appear out of thin air?"  
"It's better for you to bring your own books, and then you can write your own notes in them," Lily assured him quickly. "But truly; do you guys really not know how to use this room at all?"  
"We do," Sirius said defensively.  
"Just not to the extent you do, obviously," James added enviously. Lily shrugged.  
"It's really not that hard," she said modestly. "Now, studying. That was the reason you came here, was it not?"

Each of the marauders grumbled incoherently, Sirius jabbing James in the ribs with his fingers. "It's your fault we actually have to work now," he muttered. James poked him back.  
"You dared me to ask her, you twat."


	6. Chapter 6

Lily had relocated to sit in between Sirius and James, who seemed to be having a lot of trouble studying.

"Really, James, this is _second year stuff. _Mandrake _is _mandagora. They're the same thing!"  
"If they're the same thing, why are there different names?" James argued stubbornly.  
"It's like wolfsbane , monkshood and aconite," Lily explained. "Same thing, different names."  
James huffed and leaned back on the floor. "It's so _stupid,_" he moaned. "Why am I taking the bloody subject, anyway?"  
"Because you didn't want to take Astronomy," Remus piped up.  
"How did you even make it to Sixth year," Lily muttered to herself. "Alright, try this: Venomous Tentacular."  
James chewed his lip while he thought. "It's venomous," he said slowly. Then he nodded, as if that's all he needed to know about the plant.

"You can't be serious right now," Lily said bluntly. She held up a hand in Sirius' face, blocking his favourite pun (which he had repeated three times throughout the night already). "You're meant to be smart. There's no possible way you are this dumb." At James' slightly offended look, Lily added, "Please tell me you're just playing with me, because there is literally no possible way you would have made it to sixth year with your current brain capacity."

James smirked. "Alright, I'm just playin' with you." He held up his hands in a harmless gesture.  
"You're such a time waster," Lily grumbled. "I could have studied so much –"  
"You're cute when you're grumpy," James grinned. Lily sent him a dirty look. "And an excellent tutor. I actually think I did learn something then!"

Lily stood and flounced dramatically onto her beanbag. "How are you friends with these lunatics?" she asked Remus in an undertone. He chuckled.  
"I'll spare you the lecture of a werewolf technically being the lunatic," he joked. Lily smiled. "He just wanted your attention, that's all. He's appealing to your interests. Gotta give him some credit for that, at least," Remus said sincerely. Lily pursed her lips.  
"Yeah, well… he stole my studying time," she mumbled, packing up her books. "I've got to get back to the tower, it's way past curfew," she said in a louder voice. Seeing that the other four didn't follow her lead, she asked, "Aren't you coming?"

The boys shook their heads. "We'll stay here for the night," Sirius said with a large stretch. "Too much effort to go back to the dormitory. Better beds here, too."

Lily had given them a crash course on mastering the rooms' controls, and Sirius couldn't be more thrilled. He was quite a nuisance while she was trying to study, to say the least.

"I'd be happy to escort you back to the tower," James offered gallantly, packing up his books and forcing them into his bag.  
"You really don't have to if you wanted to stay here," Lily said unsurely. James shook his head.  
"Nah, I like a quiet dormitory. Come on."

Pulling out some parchment and tapping it with his wand, James observed it briefly before exiting the room. Lily followed suit.

It was strange how dramatic the change in atmosphere was when Lily wasn't in teacher-mode. It was easy to ignore their vicious animosity when Lily was depreciating him for not knowing basic knowledge. Now, in the hallway, Lily couldn't help but remark on how the different situations change her perspective of James and her emotions. On top of that, she and James were actually alone, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"Another trade secret, then?" Lily asked, breaking the heavy silence. James didn't seem affected by it, or just hid his discomfort well.  
"If I told you, then you'd know all our secrets," James teased. "Besides, if I told you, nothing about me would intrigue you anymore."  
"That's not true," Lily said before she'd even registered she'd opened her mouth. Horrified and confused, Lily began to blather. "I – I mean, I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that, I just –"  
"It's alright, Lily," James said softly, looking firmly ahead. "You don't have to say anything."

Since Lily didn't have anything else to say, she didn't.

* * *

In Gryffindor tower Lily snuck quietly inside the girls' dormitory, the bright moon outside casting enough light for her to see. She got changed silently and crept into bed, drawing the curtains around her. She lit her wand and got the diary out from underneath her pillow. She wanted to write something – some sort of explanation, an apology, a thank-you – but nothing came to mind. An image of James lying in his bed, staring at the diary exactly as she was doing, crossed Lily's mind. That gave her the confidence to write something out of the ordinary.

_I pray you had as nice a time as I did tonight, _she wrote.

As the words sunk into the paper, Lily felt a nervousness build up in her stomach. Doubts crept into her mind. She probably shouldn't have written anything at all. Merlin, she was stupid!

To her utter relief, James' reply finally appeared what felt like an eternity later, but was in reality only about a minute.

_I pray that we can do this again sometime. Goodnight, Lily._

_Goodnight, James._


	7. Chapter 7

Lily couldn't believe it when she was partnered with James in Herbology.

She couldn't decide if it was misfortune, luck, or if her professor had suddenly gone mental, but Lily was at a loss of what to do. For the next two weeks, she was partnered with James to raise a Screechsnap plant.

It was misfortune, because James never concentrated in class, and often deliberately caused things to go wrong. Lily's grade would probably go down from this partnering.

It was luck, because James was admittedly rather adept at Herbology, and wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty – compared to some of the girls in the class Lily could have been partnered with, she was lucky to get a fearless one.

Her professor may have gone mad because for every positive interaction Lily and James have, they have a dozen negative ones. At least, that was in the past. Lily was just discovering that James had the ability to remain silent.

"Are you going to spend the next two weeks ignoring me?" Lily demanded after twenty minutes of silence. James paused in his sprinkling of dragon manure over the seedlings.  
"Lily, you ignore me every day," he pointed out gently, "And you also said that us talking fuels the hatred you have for me. Why do you expect me to talk to you?"

Lily balked and hid her face, realising that just because they correspond through writing, and had a pleasant time studying, does not mean they are friends by any means, or even acquaintances. In fact, Lily had made it exquisitely clear that she had no desire to interact with James at all on more than one occasion.

"You are such a different person on paper than you are in reality," Lily huffed. James quirked an eyebrow.  
"Or, I'm the same person, but what you read in writing and how you interpret it may not be the same thing," James replied quietly.  
"Oh, so this is my fault now?" Lily asked incredulously.  
"Yes," James said firmly. "It's not my fault that you imagine me to be a different person when you can't see my face!"  
"Well maybe you should show me your true face more often!" Lily replied angrily.  
James frowned. "What?"  
"Oh. Er, sorry, I don't know what I…" Lily blustered, turning her attention to her bag. She was looking for something, but she had no idea what; she just wanted to hide her blush.  
"It's alright," James said quietly. He sprinkled more manure over the seedlings, which were twitching happily.

Lily found a spare bit of parchment folded neatly at the bottom of her bag, which she took out to write notes on. She had unfolded it and prepared her quill before she realised it already had writing on it.

It was James' letter, the one she had tucked away before that Potions class.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily noticed James smirk a little, but he thankfully didn't say anything. With an annoyed huff of breath, she shoved the parchment back into her bag. When she returned to her original upright position, she noticed a fresh page of parchment on the desk.

"Thanks," Lily murmured. James simply shrugged one shoulder.

Over the other side of the bench, Sirius was watching Lily with appraising eyes. Lily looked at him questioningly.

"You two have the strangest dynamics I have ever seen, and that's saying something coming from me," Sirius stated.  
"What do you mean?" Lily asked.  
"The way you talk!" Sirius exclaimed, waving his hands about grandly which unfortunately were covered in dragon dung and sprayed over his partner. "You can be going so well and then you just irrationally explode!"

Lily frowned sullenly at receiving a lecture from Sirius Black of all people. "Don't talk to me about being irrational, Black," Lily muttered. "You're more irrational than I am."  
"Maybe so," Sirius said, narrowing his eyes. "But at least I can recognise when I _am_ being irrational; you seem to be totally oblivious."

Lily entertained the idea of being oblivious. She had always considered herself a particularly observant person, always being able to pick up on other people's emotions, but she supposed this was different. It's easier to see the faults in other people rather than oneself, Lily knew.

Irritated, Lily flicked some dung in Sirius' direction. James groaned in horror.

"Oh no," he moaned. "Now you've done it, Lily!"  
"Done what?" Lily asked quickly, backing away from the table. It was to no avail; Sirius easily waved his wand, levitating the bucket of dragon dung he was using for his saplings, and made it follow Lily until she could move no further. Lily accepted her fate; there was no fighting Sirius if he was acting out of retaliation. Closing her eyes in anticipation, she felt an entire bucket of dragon dung cover her hair and over her robes.

"Mr Black! Mr Potter! Detention, this evening!" Professor Sprout, a young new teacher at Hogwarts, yelled over the eruption of laughter at Lily's expense. Grimacing only a little, Lily moved to get her wand.

"Stay still," James said softly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Lily did as she was told and soon enough the manure was mostly off Lily and back in the bucket.  
"Thanks," Lily said gratefully. James grinned.  
"I'd say sorry, but you knew that was coming," he said jokingly.  
"Yeah. Sorry you got detention though," Lily said sincerely. James shrugged.  
"Eh, it happens. Probably just writing lines or something anyway, no big deal."  
Lily gasped in pretend shock. "But, James, there's quidditch practice this evening!" James slapped a hand to his forehead.  
"Shit, I forgot!"  
"How could you forget? Quidditch is pretty much your number one priority in life," Lily commented in surprise. James gave a lopsided grin just as Sirius strutted over.  
"Oh, you know me Lily, I get all confused when you're around," James said grandly, draping an arm over Sirius' shoulder. "Isn't that right, mate? I get _barking_ mad."  
Sirius laughed loudly. "Yes it is, _deer_. You turn into a total _lunatic_!"

Lily looked on in amusement as the two laughed at their animagi puns. "You two are ridiculous," she stated. James and Sirius nodded in agreement. "Have fun in detention."

"Oh, don't worry. We will."


	8. Chapter 8

"You look really distracted, Lily. Is everything okay?"

Lily blinked. Her best friend Mary was looking at her in concern, her gentle eyes focused entirely on Lily's. She quickly forced a smile in place.  
"Yes, everything's fine, I was just thinking about…" Lily paused. Truth be told, she was thinking about James and Sirius who were currently in detention. James didn't even blink when he automatically got blamed in Herbology, didn't kick up a fuss, didn't do anything he normally did. "Thinking about homework," Lily finished lamely. Mary smiled at her.

"Right, and I was just kissing my boyfriend," Mary replied sarcastically, looking around as if expecting to find a boy behind her. Lily giggled.  
"Alright, I was lying," she conceded. "But for good reason!"  
"You don't need to lie to me, Lily," Mary said earnestly. "But if you want to talk, I'm here."

Lily pursed her lips. She could ask for Mary's opinion on her situation, or she could toughen up and live her life as usual. She knew which option she preferred.

"James is on my mind a lot lately," Lily admitted hesitantly. To her pleasure, Mary didn't immediately waggle her eyebrows or break out in catcalls like Marlene, her other friend, usually did whenever James was mentioned.  
"Why?" Mary asked.  
"Well, he wrote to me every week for the first month of term," Lily began. "And then he bought me a diary to write to him in – because whatever I write shows up on his and vice versa, you see – and I'm not sure why but it's really hard to not give into the temptation of writing to him. But in person he still grates on my nerves and I'm not sure why that is!"

Lily waited nervously for Mary to speak. She seemed to be choosing her words very carefully.

"Perhaps you want to write to him because, in writing, he is who you want him to be, whereas in person you still see him in a begrudging light," Mary hypothesised.  
"That's similar to what I thought," Lily agreed. "But then why can't he be the same in writing as he is in person?"  
Mary frowned. "I really don't want to say this, but I think it's time it's said aloud, because you haven't really realised it yet. James has matured more this year than any other, and I think that you're prejudiced towards any developments you see."

Lily tried not to be offended by this accusation, but it wasn't working. However, Mary wasn't done.

"I also think that you've simply gotten into the habit of hating James more than the other boys, when in reality he's no worse than Sirius, and you like him well enough, right?"

Lily shrugged. "That's different, Sirius has a reason to be annoying. With a family like his, I'm surprised he's turned out okay. James is different, he's got nothing wrong with him, he chooses to be like this and he enjoys it!"  
"Chooses to be like what?" Mary asked.  
"An annoying, pranking, immature toerag!"  
Mary giggled at Lily's typical description. "James hasn't done a single prank so far this year, he's Head Boy _and_ quidditch captain, and though he may be annoying at times so can everyone else," Mary told Lily. "I think you just need to look at things in a new perspective. James is a normal person, you just haven't noticed yet."

With an encouraging smile, Mary left to shower in the prefects bathroom. Lily sat on the edge of her chair in trepidation, torn between finishing the homework she'd barely touched that evening, or writing a small letter to James. Because that's what her brain was tempting her into doing, and Lily always listened to her brain, she did just that. Within minutes she had the two-way diary and a muggle pen in her hands, ready for use. She curled up on an armchair and began to write out her feelings, something she was remarkably good at.

_James, I'm sorry again for accidentally giving you detention. I've spent your absence thinking about what you said to me. I do imagine you to be a different person when I can't see your face, and Mary has enlightened me by saying I use it as a way to see you as how I want to see you rather than how you actually are. Apparently I am also prejudiced towards you and unable to notice things._

_So without further ado, this is my apology letter. I realised in Herbology that I enjoy our writing correspondence so much that I actually expected it to continue in 'reality'... From now onwards I will try my very best to see you as you are, rather than what I think you are. I'll be civil and even friendly, I'll also ignore your immaturity (because apparently it's okay to have fun every now and then..? I know, weird right?)._

_This is incredibly hypocritical of me, but I pray you don't embarrass me by rejecting my offer of peace._

Lily put down her pen. She knew that there was no point in waiting for a reply since James was in detention and wouldn't have the diary on him, but she couldn't help but hope that he would reply straight away.

To her utter surprise, her diary chimed not five minutes later.

_I'm breaking the rules even more now than usual just to reply to you, but my curiosity couldn't be satisfied until I read your message, and then I simply had to reply!_

_Lily, of course I accept your offer of peace. I'm pleased to answer your prayers! I'm also thrilled you're making an effort to change your perception of me, I hope I won't let you down. _

_I really have to go now, but for future reference, ignoring my immaturity – or having fun, whichever you prefer – includes quidditch parties, which I am inviting you to next week._

With a large smile on her face, Lily closed the diary in satisfaction. She sent a grin at Marlene, who was teasing Remus at the base of the stairs to the dormitory, and received a quick smile in return.

Her diary chimed again and Lily opened it before realising she had done so.

_P.S: Sirius says that we have the strangest dynamics he's ever seen._


	9. Chapter 9

As predicted, Gryffindor won the quidditch match against Hufflepuff, 240-70. The common room was booming, a roaring fire making the room slightly uncomfortable in temperature – but none of that mattered, because Lily was drunk, and James was currently holding her upright.

"Miss Evans, I don't think I've ever seen you this drunk!" James exclaimed. Lily leaned into him with a giggle, her hand clutching a bottle of firewhisky.  
"I'm not drunk," Lily argued, an adorable frown gracing her face. "Only tipsy!"  
James gave her an amused look and laughed. "Okay, princess."  
"I'm not a princess," Lily mumbled, looking at her feet sadly. They were clad in black high heels. "I wish I was."  
"You can be my princess," James promised. Lily smiled at him, and not for the first time that evening. His heart warmed at the thought.

A sudden shout of enjoyment echoed throughout the common room. James looked around to see Sirius and Remus entering the portrait hole, arms laden with crates of alcohol. They headed for the table James and Lily were standing by.

"Here you go, mate," Sirius yelled over the music, handing James a crate. Unwilling to let Lily stand on her own, James attempted to hold it with one hand. Sirius, who wasn't quite as drunk as James yet, rolled his eyes and handed him a bottle instead. "Safety first, deer."  
"Yes sir!"

James cracked the bottle open quickly, took a mouthful, and offered it to Lily. She smiled brightly at him but shook her head, waving her own bottle in front of James face.

"I think Minnie's letting the party run later than usual," Sirius commented as he unloaded the crates quickly, leaving the bottles on the table.  
"Run into Peeves on the way in?" James asked. Sirius nodded and nudged Remus in the side. He was wearing a sheepish grin.  
"_Waddiwasi_-ed him," he admitted. "Wasn't sure it worked at first, but I was pleasantly surprised."

James laughed and took another mouthful. Remus raised his brow at James' arm draped around Lily's waist, but didn't comment. Sirius, for once, remained silent as well.

"Remus!" Lily cried, "You aren't drinking! Aren't you having fun?"  
"I'm having loads of fun, Lily," Remus assured her.  
"You should talk to Marlene," Lily said seriously, looking over at the staircase where her friend was currently standing. "She really likes you!"  
Remus chuckled. "Alright, Lily. You get to bed soon."  
"Never!"

Laughing loudly, Remus took a supply of bottles and dragged Sirius away to Peter, who looked a little lost but happy nonetheless. James returned his attention to the girl in his arms.

"Are you having fun, Lily?" he asked charmingly. Lily nodded.  
"Yes. I like feeling alive, James."  
"Do I make you feel alive?" James asked. Lily appraised him carefully.  
"Of course," she murmured. "As if there's any doubt."

James tried to remind himself that it probably wasn't a compliment, but his drunken haze made him forget that they usually fought all the time, and he remained joyful. A slow song began playing and the common room seemed to immediately pair up, leaving plenty of room to dance.

"May I have this dance?" James asked gallantly. Lily pursed her lips.  
"I can't dance!" Lily burst out in embarrassment. James laughed.  
"Should be fun, then!"

He took the bottle out of her hand and left it on the table. Then, taking both of her hands in his, he guided them up around his neck. Lily flushed but let them stay, and didn't argue when James rested his hands on her waist. Her blue dress was silky beneath his fingers. James led them in a slow sway – if Lily was telling the truth and she truly couldn't dance, he didn't want anyone to get hurt!

Lily sighed and rested her head on his chest. "This is nice," she said. James rested his head on her hair momentarily, then stood upright once more.  
"It is."  
"Why can't it be like this all the time?"  
"Because it's unhealthy to be drunk every day?" James teased. Lily snorted.  
"You're funny."

James mulled that around in his head whilst they swayed. Was that meant to be sarcastic? Genuine? He decided he didn't care.

"You look beautiful tonight, Lily." And she did. Her dress was a dark blue number, made of a silky material James didn't recognise. It flowed to the middle of her thighs and was strapless. Her black high heels made her taller than usual and did good things for her legs. Her red hair was in simple waves around her neck.

Lily's eyes were currently piercing his, the green reflecting the firelight. "As do you." She reached up and played with the ends of his hair, running her fingers down his neck. James shivered.  
"Lily," he groaned, pulling her hand back down to his shoulders. "Don't."  
"I'm sorry," Lily said immediately, blinking owlishly. She pulled away softly, but unfortunately James didn't have a reason to pull her back; the slow song was over and a jumpy pop song was playing.  
"Let's get another drink," Lily said cheerfully.

James couldn't help but observe the view as she walked – no, strutted – to the drinks table and attempted to locate their drinks. He was disrupted, however, by a heavy clap on the back.

"You're going all the way tonight, aren't you?" Sirius said knowingly from behind. James rolled his eyes.  
"Shove off, Black. I'm not going to take advantage of her like that."  
"Not even if she tries to take advantage of you?"  
James fixed his mate with a stern look. "No. It has to be perfect, and being drunk is not perfect."  
Sirius barked out a laugh. "Alright, alright. Best of luck to my favourite man, then."  
"Much appreciated."

Sirius sauntered away and James' attention turned once more to the beautiful girl that had stayed by his side the entire night. She was just returning with two fresh bottles of wine, weaving her way carefully through the crowd. James smiled as she stumbled merely a few feet away from him, reaching his arms out to steady her.

"I'm sorry, I nearly spilled your drink," Lily laughed, handing it over. James smiled.  
"That's alright. Did you watch the game tonight?"  
"I did," Lily nodded. "Took time out of my busy homework schedule to do so!"  
James gasped dramatically. "You mean to say that you actually put aside homework to watch me play? Lily, I'm honoured!"  
"Watch _Sirius _play," Lily corrected. "He's a much better player than you!"  
"I'm the captain!"  
"Irrelevant," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.  
"If I wasn't the best player, I wouldn't be the captain!" James argued. He saw Lily looking doubtful and felt the need to prove his point further. "Alright, watch this. Oi, Remus!"

His yell quietened the common room a little, Remus looking around from his conversation with Mary curiously. "Who's the best player on the team?" James demanded. "Me or Sirius?"  
"You're not really asking me this, are you?" Remus asked long-sufferingly. "We've been through this!"  
"And who is it?"  
"Sirius!"

Laughter rang out from every corner of the room and the noise level returned to normal. James was frowning in disappointment.  
"Aw, there there," Lily said, trying to cover her laughter. She was rubbing his arm consolingly. James sculled the rest of his drink.  
"At least I'm the most attractive player on the team," James grumbled, placing his bottle down. Lily sipped her own drink, a far more responsible move than James, who was suffering the sped-up effects of wizard alcohol.  
"I think I can agree with that," Lily said with a grin. James looked at her in shock.  
"You think I'm attractive?" he clarified. Lily nodded, her grin widening. "Lily, why aren't you this honest when you're sober?"  
Lily laughed loudly. "I'd hate to see your head inflate even more!"

James let the insult slide, still marvelling that Lily – of all the people in the bloody school – thought he was attractive! "I could kiss you!" James exclaimed. "Honestly, Evans, after all these years…"  
"You can if you like," Lily said quickly. "I wouldn't mind."

The next events happened in a blur. James wasn't sure precisely what happened, for one minute he was trying to discern if he heard her right, and the next minute their lips were pressed against each other's, and he was guiding them towards the closest wall. Lily's lips were soft and passionate, moving fiercely against James'. Her hands had returned to his hair and were scrunching it up in her fingers; James held back a groan of pleasure and responded by moving his hands from her waist down to her ass, one hand trailing down her uplifted leg. James was only a little surprised when Lily slowed the pace of the kiss to bite on his bottom lip, a movement he didn't mind at all, then delved her tongue inside his mouth with ease. She pulled herself closer – or maybe James did – and it was just registering in James' brain that _he was kissing Lily Evans _when applause and cheering rang through the room.

Immediately feeling a mix of guilt, frustration and embarrassment, James pulled away from Lily and faced the crowd, expecting to see a group of onlookers surrounding the two. To his relief, there wasn't; everyone was faced away from the pair and looking at Sirius, who was standing on top of a table looking very unstable and slightly mad.

"Thank you, thank you," Sirius cried, waving his hands in a downwards notion as if to quieten the crowd. "Another victory to Gryffindor!"  
As cheers erupted James looked back at Lily who was still leaning against the wall, looking breathless but pleased, and winked at her. She smiled back shyly.

"Yes, well done to us. And well done to our less-talented quidditch captain, Prongsie Potter, for leading us to victory!" Sirius laughed and raised his bottle, sloshing a bit of liquid over the lip. "If you let us down in the Ravenclaw match, there'll be hell to pay!"

With a mischievous grin on his face, Sirius jumped off the table dramatically, spilt his alcohol over the floor, stumbled over his own feet, but bounced back up quickly after assuring everyone he was "a-okay".

Snickering to himself, James turned his attention back to Lily, who appeared to have composed herself magnificently. Her hair had returned to its original waves and her dress at its appropriate length.

"You still look beautiful," James said easily, leaning against the wall beside her. Lily laughed.  
"And you're still the most attractive player on the team," Lily assured him.  
"And you both still have the strangest dynamics I've ever seen," Sirius cried, appearing at Lily's side. "Everyone saw that snog, by the way, and wow, almost felt like I was intruding!"  
James whacked Sirius on the back of his head. "Sod off, Padfoot! You _are _intruding!"

Sirius pranced away. "Get a room!" he called back, then disappeared into the crowd. James looked back at Lily suggestively and winked. Lily gasped.  
"Don't even think about it!"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Last chapter! Hope I do it justice.**

The next day was filled with awkwardness and insecurity. James didn't have any classes with Lily until that afternoon and _dammit, _he just wanted to talk to her… and maybe kiss her again. At breakfast, he was too late to see her; at lunch, he was forced to sit with his friends and missed her fiery red hair at the table. In DADA was his only chance to talk to her – but even then, they had assigned seats because of the ruckus the marauders caused, and James sat nowhere near Lily.

The need to talk to Lily was eased when he heard a quiet chime inside his bag. Of course, how could he have forgotten his present to Lily? The diary was the answer to all his problems!

_Tell me your head hurts as much as mine._

James chuckled. It seemed that Lily wasn't smart enough to cure herself of a hangover. _Take some pepper-up potion, you'll be fine, _he wrote.

_I'll take some later. How much do you remember of last night?_

The question set a feeling of unease in James' stomach. _All of it, _he wrote. _You?_

_Same._

James waited impatiently but nothing else appeared on the page. What was the point in asking that if she didn't have anything to say?

_Do you regret it? _James wrote.

_No. _

Well, at least the answer came quickly enough to settle his mind.

_Me neither._

To James' utter infuriation, Lily didn't write anything else in the diary for the rest of the lesson. When he turned in his seat to send her an angry look, she simply looked content, dissipating James' anger immediately. He decided to confront her after class – for now, he needed to focus on counter-curses.

Lily found him after class though, greeting him with the same shy smile she wore the night before. "Hi," she murmured, hugging her books close to her chest.  
"Hello princess," James greeted with a sly grin. Lily blushed.  
"So about last night," she began, but James held his hand up to stop her.  
"Please don't let whatever you're about to say ruin the bliss I am currently feeling," James said warningly. Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder.  
"I was actually going to say that I had a really nice time, if you had let me finish," Lily informed him. James gave a sheepish smile.  
"Sorry, but I'm not in the mood for rejection," James admitted. "I'm actually really quite happy with how we are right now."  
"And how is that?" Lily asked, walking slowly. James matched her pace.  
"Talking. Snogging. All of that."

James let Lily think in silence as they walked. "You still like me, right?" Lily asked eventually. James chuckled.  
"Oh yeah."  
"Okay. Well, I like you too."

James raised his eyebrows in surprise. He looked at Lily carefully, noticing how her fingers were clenched around her books tightly and how she stood rigidly. Her breathing was uneven and her lips were tightly pinched together.

"That's… new."  
All the tension seemed to leave Lily's body as she breathed out. "Yeah. I know."

The two walked on in silence for a while, but it seemed that Lily was keen to talk about… whatever it was. "Is James Potter rendered speechless? I'm impressed with myself."  
"I actually don't know what to say," James laughed guiltily. "I'm sorry! I've waited all these years to hear you say that and now I just don't know what to do!"  
"You don't have to do anything. I just want to know where we stand," Lily smiled.  
"I don't know if this will make sense, but I liked where we stood last night," James said, running a hand through his hair. Lily laughed.  
"So did I."  
James tilted his head. A strange thought just struck him. "Are you asking me to ask you out?" he demanded.  
"Caught on, have you?"

James gasped. "That's incredibly manipulative of you, Miss Evans!"  
Lily's jaw dropped. "I'm sorry but I thought you needed a bit of a push in the right direction!" she exclaimed, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.  
"I'll take that as a yes then, shall I?" James asked. Lily nodded, her smile becoming more pronounced. "Good."

James leaned forward and pressed his lips to Lily's, holding her close, books and all. She responded enthusiastically, standing on her tiptoes eagerly. It was James who had to pull away first to breathe.

"You're a hell of a kiss, Lils," James whispered. The comment made her laugh.  
"Thanks. You're not too shabby either."  
"Thanks."

Lily shifted her books to one arm, using her free hand to intertwine with James'. She offered him a smile.  
"What?" Lily asked, when James did not return the smile.  
"Am I dreaming?" James asked dramatically. "Slap me, Lily! I don't think this is real!"  
Lily threw her head back and laughed. "Is this all happening a bit quick for you?"  
"No," James said immediately. Then his brain caught up with his mouth. "Well, maybe. Not last week you promised to try and see me as who I am and now we're dating… It feels like I've missed a step, you know?"

Lily nodded. "I know. During the last week I've tried really hard to not be biased towards you and I discovered that Mary was right. You really aren't any worse than Sirius, and I think that made me realise how unfair I've been to you, because I started noticing what everyone else has always seen."  
"And what's that?"  
"A guy who's actually really nice and caring, if a little dramatic at times, who's talented at sport and schoolwork, and rather attractive."  
James smirked. "The list seems rather short, in my opinion," he teased. Lily rolled her eyes.  
"I'm not going to feed your ego any more than that. The point I'm trying to get across is that you're not the person I always thought you were."

James grinned, but the wheels in his brain were turning. "How did this end up with you kissing me?"  
Lily blushed. "Oh, that. Well, I never actually planned on doing that. And technically, you kissed me," Lily added fiercely. "It just seemed like a good idea at the time."  
"At the time…" James repeated quietly.  
"And it was," Lily said firmly. "I can't quite describe how we got here, but I pray that it doesn't end in catastrophe."

James gave Lily his most charming smile. They had just reached Gryffindor tower. "May all your prayers be answered, Lily flower. Now, let's go find Sirius. He has to know he lost the bet."

"You made a bet on me?" Lily cried. "I can't believe you!"  
James tugged on Lily's hand. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. He just thought that we'd never date while we're at school, and believed it so much he bet me thirty galleons! _Gillyweed."_

The portrait swung open and James clambered through excitedly. Lily took a more dignified speed, trying not to draw attention to herself. James was shouting in the common room.

"Pay up, Padfoot! Thirty galleons!" James pounced on Sirius' back, making them both fall onto the floor. Remus pulled his feet up onto his seat so they didn't roll on them, looking at Lily accusingly.  
"Don't look at me like that, Remus," Lily said cheerfully.  
"If you weren't here, he'd never be this happy," Remus said. "You've just made him the happiest man alive."  
Lily looked at her new boyfriend, who had succeeded in getting Sirius in a headlock. "Yeah. I know."

"You've lost me thirty galleons," Sirius gasped. James laughed and let him free. "Bloody hell, Lily. You'll have me broke in no time."  
"You want to bet on that?" Lily asked, holding back her laughter.  
"NO!"

* * *

The next day, it had spread over the entire school that James Potter was now dating Lily Evans. Lily found that she didn't mind all that much and was having quite a wonderful day until Severus showed up during her free period. Lily was sitting out in the courtyard enjoying the sunlight when his shadow covered her book. She looked up to see him wearing a pained expression. She returned her attention to her book.

"Lily," he whispered. "Please don't tell me it's true."  
"What's true?" Lily asked casually, turning a page in her book. Severus sat beside her and covered her page with his hand.  
"Please don't tell me you're… you and _him,_" Severus spat. "You'd never…"  
Lily sighed. "Who I am dating is none of your business, Severus. We aren't friends, I owe you nothing."  
Severus' face turned from pained to furious in a second. "Has he put you under an Imperius curse?" he demanded, taking out his wand. Lily immediately got hers out, standing up and backing away, dropping her books on the floor. Severus copied her movement.  
"No, he hasn't," Lily snapped, "Now go away, or I swear I'll hex you."

Severus' eyes flicked to something behind Lily's shoulder, but she didn't dare look. "He doesn't love you, Lily," Severus said. "It's just obsession. Now's he got you he'll leave you within a week."  
"You'd know all about obsession, wouldn't you, Sev?" Lily murmured, her voice shaking a little. It took a lot of courage for her to say that, for Lily had never paid much attention to how Severus felt about her, but she knew the difference between him and James and it was as simple as obsession versus love.  
Severus lowered his wand. "You think you're in love, but you're not," he said. "I don't believe it for a second."

Severus turned around and walked away quickly, his cloak billowing out behind him. Lily didn't put her wand away until he was out of sight.

"He's wrong, you know."

Lily barely glanced over her shoulder. Of course they would be there. "I know, Sirius."  
"He's not going to leave you within the week," Remus added. "I'll be surprised if he leaves you at all."  
Lily chuckled, returning to her bench to pick up her books. "Shouldn't you guys be in class?"

Sirius and Remus came over to help her. "Don't tell James we told you," Sirius said quietly, "But he has a habit of watching you on the map, and when he saw Snape coming your way we came out to make sure everything was okay."  
"I can look after myself," Lily said, but she smiled at their protectiveness.  
"We know," Remus assured her. "But we do what we can to ease James' fears."

Lily smiled widely and entered the castle again. Class had just ended and people were beginning to mill out into the hall, heading to the Great Hall for lunch. Lily loitered outside the doors with Sirius and Remus, waiting for James and Peter to show up.

When they finally did, James had Sirius and Remus' books in his arms, which he quickly handed over. "I would have come myself," James said hurriedly to Lily, pulling her in for a tight hug, "But I wasn't allowed to leave because apparently I'm too irresponsible."

Lily made a point to hug James back tightly, knowing that Severus' eyes would be on her, even if she couldn't see him. "The teachers just know you too well," Lily joked.  
James smiled softly. "Everything okay?" Lily nodded.  
"He's just jealous, that's all," she said, entering the hall. Sirius slung an arm over Lily's shoulder.  
"It doesn't matter now. He's irrelevant, and you've got us watching over you," he said gallantly.  
"Just like angels," Lily agreed.

The five Gryffindors sat at the table, all thoughts of Severus out of their minds. After all, what was the point of dwelling on what was? Lily was perfectly content to focus on the present, and that meant holding hands with James underneath the table and struggling to eat her lunch left-handed.

* * *

**A/N: Because no Lily romance is complete without a Snape scene! **

**Thanks for reading, I had a blast writing this story despite not being too pleased with the ending. Review and tell me what you think!**


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